Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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