Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
