Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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