I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize