I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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