I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
