Please, let me fuck your mom
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize