We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
