dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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