I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
