So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
