will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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