i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
