how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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