I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
