jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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