the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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