Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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