hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My cat gives me a boner
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
