I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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