It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
