No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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