I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
