Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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