Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Randomize
