I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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