R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
