Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
