She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
