On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
