I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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