Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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