You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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