I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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