so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
