He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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