Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
