I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
