Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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