No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize