i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
