I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
