I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
