If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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