Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
