I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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