yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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