K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i dont even know how to be here
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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