I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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