my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
