take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
