if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
