Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i need some magic done to my vagina
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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