My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
