stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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