Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
