It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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