is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
