you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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