Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
soo... how was my night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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