is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
