Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize