im about as happy as oj after his trial
you would pick up someone in the library
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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