My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize