dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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